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Find the newest Fat Muscle Man meme. The best memes from Instagram, Facebook, Vine, and Twitter about Fat Muscle Man. I'd also like to apologize to Mary Ann for tearing up her paper dolls and to Betsy for dating a guy she had a crush on. Just when I thought .. Stamps' daughter starts the funny obituary by describing her father as a “ladies' man, foodie, natty dresser, and accomplished traveler” and a lover of devilled eggs. She then describes. Explore Stephanie (:'s board "Funny shit" on Pinterest. | See more ideas about Quote, Dating and Funny memes.

Think you got what link takes to write for Cracked. Then submit an article or some other pieces of content. Cracked only offers comment voting to subscribing members. Subscribers also have access to loads of hidden content. Join now and wield the awesome power of the thumb. If you're already an awesome Cracked subscriber, click here to login. The following sentence applies regardless of when you read this: A famous man has recently been accused of doing sexual things to a woman or many women without consent.

At the time of this writing, it was a politician's "groping" scandal but next time it'll be unwanted dick pics a powerful man sent to an intern, or the spreading of hacked photos of some actress, or a famous athlete getting sued by a woman whose accusations didn't get anywhere with the police.

And, in fact, I bet there isn't a single female reading this who hasn't been the victim of that sort of thing. Well, here's something you should know: I was taught from birth that this behavior is exactly what women want.

Remember how everyone said it was great that they cast a female star in The Force Awakensbecause it's good for little girls to have role models? So we all agree that pop culture heroes do influence young people, right? That's why diversity in casting is so important, all that? All right, so here's the first lesson I got on sexual consent. I was six years old. My hero and lifelong role model, Han Solo, approaches a woman who has told him at every opportunity that she's not interested.

Han comes up from behind and presses his body against hers. She's a strong woman, a fighter, so she physically shoves him off Undeterred, Han moves back in, grabs her hands, and starts rubbing them. She says, "Stop Message To A Girl Dating and looks nervous. When he doesn't stop, she clearly says it again. He still doesn't stop.

Even if she wanted to leave, she couldn't because of the implications. The result of this encounter is that she falls in love with this man and they spend the rest of their lives together. Hi, I'm David Wong, and I've been conducting a year experiment on men's toxic attitudes toward women, mainly by living my life with lots of them swishing around inside my skull. Bodybuilder Dating Meme Trash Lovers Key, because I am so unspeakably old, the film I'm referencing above Bodybuilder Dating Meme Trash Lovers Key from the ancient days of Society has advanced a great deal since then.

I mean, everybody gets this, right?

The obituary is full of humorous anecdotes about his Mom, from jokes about her potty mouth, to her questionable skills in the kitchen, as well as her knack for telling it like it is. If you ever get that, hold on to it while you can. Invite new friends to Thanksgiving dinner.

The fantasy isn't that she's showing skin; the fantasy is that she didn't choose to wear that. She's a princess, she's regal, she's a noble warrior But back to the groping thing. I'd estimate that 95 percent of the action movie cool guy role models of my youth molested women into loving them at least once. James Bond did it in In Goldfingerhe rapes Pussy Galore in a barn, which causes her to abandon her life of crime and join his side. In The Click here Of Zorroa woman tries to kill Antonio Banderas, and in response, he strips her naked with his blade and forces a kiss.

As a result, they fall in love.

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Actually, rather than recount the thousands and thousands of examples of the "Assault Them Until They Love You" seduction method, I'm going to prove how prevalent this is by rattling off a list of examples using only Harrison Ford's filmography:. In Blade Runnerhe slams a woman or female replicant against a wall after she tries to leave, and then forces her to say "Kiss me.

In Indiana Jones and the Temple of DoomFord snatches a fleeing woman with his whip and yanks her back to him. They fall in love. Lucasfilm How many previous fleeing women has Indy practiced this on to not leave her torso a bleeding mess? Long before I was old enough to date or even had female friends, it was made more than clear: In any relationship, men are the predators, women are the prey.

Their expressions of fear and rejection -- including defensive physical attacks -- are a coy game to be overcome, like a tricky clasp on a bra. If you're wondering, no, I've never in my life groped a woman who didn't grope me first. This is not because I was a gentleman who cared about consent.

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If you'd cornered me in high school and asked me why I hadn't just grabbed a girl at a party and made her kiss me, I'd have said it was because I wasn't cool enough, or hot enough.

That was told to me both by people in my life and by lots of the movies and shows I saw back then. Here's a screencap from one sitcom from back in the day of a girl saying, "There's nothing less sexy than a dude asking if he can kiss you.

7 Reasons So Many Guys Don’t Understand Sexual Consent

And when I said that show aired "back in the day" I of course meant fucking That's from an episode of New Girl. Sure, I get what the female actress voicing the words of some male writers was trying to say there: He shouldn't need to be told why she's mad at him, or what she'd like for her anniversary, or whether or not she's ready for the next step.

Emotional intelligence is sexy, and there's nothing sexier than a guy who cares enough to pay attention to the subtle cues.

You know, the way Han Solo knew that Leia secretly wanted him to back her into a corner and force himself on her. The way he was able to detect that all of her many prior rejections and coldness was all a test to find out if he could see past the facade.

Click you went back and found me at the age when I realized I knew absolutely everything -- 20 -- and asked me to explain gender roles, here's what I'd have told you:. In this modern world, the quality of a woman's life is overwhelmingly dependent on what kind of man she can attract -- a woman married to a capable man is simply going to have a higher standard of continue reading, period.

Her self-worth is thus based largely on how desirable she is to men, and on how many men are pursuing her at any given moment. The need for more suitors is due to the law of supply and demand. It is to her advantage to create competition by tempting as many men as possible, then making it difficult for Bodybuilder Dating Meme Trash Lovers Key single one to gain her attention.

Thus, women gain power through rejecting men, and those rejections have nothing to do with how they truly feel. My disinterest in you emotionally, physically, and mentally has been an excuse. Make sex to me.

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Make sex to me right now! This, I'd have said, is also the reason most "slut shaming" comes from other women. The price of gasoline would drop pretty fast if one supplier started giving it away.

So, much like OPEC, women culturally collude to keep the value of sex and female companionship high by making it artificially difficult to acquire it. This is why Princess Leia's wealthy, royal peers would disapprove of her spreading her legs for a "scoundrel. Conversely, Bodybuilder Dating Meme Trash Lovers Key Solo is a hero precisely because he sees through this artifice, and knows exactly how to confidently stride past those barriers. The primary attractive traits in males are physical strength and aggressiveness, and he knows that Leia's feigned resistance is a test of those attributes.

You can see the full sequence in each of the clips I linked earlier: The female fights, the male demonstrates his physical superiority, and the female acknowledges his suitability as a mate and willingly gives in. And dammit, this is how it really worked back in the good old days, when men were men and women were women!

No, dinof would never actually stand him up. Thanks to everyone in this thread for suggesting all of our many disturbing examples of this phenomenon from film and television. Phil is really glad he remembered to close his office door because Chris and PJ would definitely be giving him a hard time for how big he was smiling at his computer screen again. The staff changed our room and I couldn't eat for two days.

Like in that famous photo from V-E day, in which the heroic fighting man celebrates the end of the war by kissing the first beautiful broad he sees! Wait, you knew they were strangers, right? Now look at this photo taken a split second before. See how she playfully pretends she's not into it? Wow, what a good actress! Ha, her little clenched fist is adorable! And look at all the approving smiles of the crowd behind them -- men and women alike, agreeing this is wholesome fun.

Sports Illustrated It was that exact issue.

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There was no internet in the s, and actual porn was risky to own if you were a kid in the Midwest. That was the genius of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue: It gave Middle America something to masturbate to under the cover of reading about sports. Everybody knew what was going on, obviously. In many of the photos, at least part of the swimsuit was missing, the woman cupping her naked breasts with her hands, pouting coyly at the camera. Maybe a thumb hooked around her bikini bottom, like she's about to pull it off.

Likewise, when women in bikinis turned up in movies, they existed purely as titillating jerk-off material for the teenage boys in the audience. Literally every single image of a woman in a bikini I saw outside of a swimwear catalog was presented in this way, as something for us to drool over. So after having lived my entire life with the clear understanding that this is an outfit women wear please click for source make men want to ejaculate, what thoughts do you think went through my dumb young mind when I went to the beach and saw real women wearing the same?

Do you think I was able to see Bodybuilder Dating Meme Trash Lovers Key as humans instead of coy manipulators? The completely rational reaction from any of those women at the beach would be, "I'm not wearing it for youperv, I'm wearing it because I'm swimming, and this is swimwear!

What do you want me to wear, a burka? There is no good answer. Everyone should be able to wear what they want, but acting confused by the ravenous thoughts that pound through the brains of nearby males is to ignore the cultural context they grew up in. She says her outfit makes one statement, while virtually percent of posters, magazines, movies, TV shows, songs, music videos, billboards, video games, poems, novels, etc say it makes another.