This Is What Happens When You ‘Discard’ An Abusive Narcissist First
If they're the ones to break it off, it can feel brutal and sudden.
1 Nov Sometimes, however, victims of narcissistic abuse make the decision to leave first . This typically generates a completely different outcome. Since life and love are a game to narcissists, they cannot tolerate being the one to be deserted first. It's all about winning to them. If you leave them first, be ready for. 28 Mar It is no wonder, then, that narcissistic abusers are known to stalk their former victims months, sometimes even years, after the ending of the relationship, especially if their victims discarded them first. They might harass and stalk you in person, through e-mail, texting, phone calls, voicemails, or third-party. This Is What Happens When You 'Discard' An Abusive Narcissist First | Thought Catalog.
The internet is full of heart-wrenching stories of women and men who were love-bombed, courted, and made to feel special by their partner. Sometimes, however, victims of narcissistic abuse make the decision to leave first. This typically generates a completely different outcome. Since life and love are a game to narcissists, they cannot tolerate being the one to be deserted first.
If you leave them first, be ready for psychopathy on steroids. I left my Ex two years ago.
People often feel they've "won" in this situation if the narcissist returns, but in reality, the narcissist has come back only because they know their manipulations and fraudulent claims will be successful. He isnt the world greatest. I thought I was crazy, my self esteem is getting better a little more each day. This is one of the reasons removing them from social media can be helpful — there's likely to be a lot of loved up selfies. It really has woken me up to what I was really living with for 7 yrs.
To date, I am still being stalked, monitored, and spied on. He has installed spyware on my cell phone and, I suspect, my laptop, as well. After a couple of factory resets, he still has insider knowledge of some of my most private conversations. I must constantly be aware of my surroundings. He knows when I leave and arrive to my apartment. I have primary physical custody of our son, with my Ex having visitation on the weekends.
If you fill this in, you will be marked as a spammer. To hear him say that. I opened my heart and soul to him.
In all honesty, he stalked me while we were married, as well. Narcissists typically have other lovers waiting in the wings, so they assume other people are the same. Therefore, every innocent interaction you have with another human can be misconstrued as a secret love affair, whether it be a male or female. Did you recently visit your good friend of fifteen years? You must be having an affair with their teenage offspring.
Did you give five dollars to the Salvation Army bell ringer? You must be banging them on the side. Narcissists have no boundaries, civil or otherwise. They know exactly where the proverbial line is drawn and stand with the tips of their toes over it. Yesterday, I spent most of the day in Juvenile Relations and Civil court, filing a preliminary protective order.
He and certain members of his family believe they are above the law. Join thousands of others who are joining the Day Recovery mini-course and get instant access to: The Beginner's Healing Toolkit!
Start healing from Narcissistic Abuse now! Now check your email to confirm your spot in the mini-course and get your Beginner's Healing Toolkit now! Adobe Click is required as this is a PDF document. Check the bottom of your screen for an instant download or your downloads folder! Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. I When You Discard The Narcissist First with what I know now to be a narcissist for 7 years.
But he shows cerebral as well. The first year and a half were good. Although he came home one night late saying he had fallen asleep at work to high or drunk to drive and slept it off.
Shortly there after his mom moved out. I guess she knew. After that he started slowly this behavior. Like a Jekyll and Hyde. I never knew who was getting up or coming home. His brother and friends said he had issues but never said anymore. About 7 weeks later he had been going to the neighbors go here night.
What Happens When a Narcissist Discards You | PairedLife
His friend came home from the army. He came home and wanted to go out. When we came home with his friend there he lit in to me verbally. But when he got head-butted he left.
He upended a dining room table and forced me to get on my knees and clean a dog carrier calling me names that had never been spoken before. I might say I was 26 yrs. Older and had heart surgery. He told me to call the police.
I did I was afraid. He changed like Jekyll and Hyde. And sat to wait on police like nothing had happened. They took him when I showed them my chest. He went to prison for 1 yr. I had a court order but he convinced me he had changed. He told me he had been using meth for the whole time under my nose.
He was an alcoholic. After 4 or 5 weeks he does this. I tried for 4 years to get rid of him. We did get married and everything was wonderful for the first year.
Leaving a Narcissist Before the Discard
He kept coming back. I finally had to be strong and make a stand when he left. Crazy guy used my boyfriends number to listen in and ruin our life. Sadly he is a person in entertainment….
Im sorry, But mine is nothing like this. He just ignores me and pursues others. So why would he waste his energy doing all that? He may send a text trying to hook me into an argument and then tell me how crazy I am or feel powerful that he could evoke strong emotion in me.
He is a mental torturer. All he does is medicate himself with booze and porn.
WE feel the emotions…. We are older too.
Im 62 hes I know it will never change. I wish I could comfort anyone in this position because we are not typical. No one but someone that has been in for lifetime understands.
Ptsd is all I left with. I worked for him so lost my job and my marbles xx. I was dating a guy that I knew would not go away quietly unless it was on his terms. I had to minimize continue reading and elevate him, in order to convince him that he could do so much better. This was a conscious act of survival on my part, as opposed to just breaking it off with him, When You Discard The Narcissist First risking triggering his anger, violent side, and provoking him to seek revenge or wage an attack on me and ultimate discard, that I did not want to experience.
Up until that point, I was in a fog, making excuses for his bad behavior, overwhelmed with the intoxication of the sexual connection between us. However, the second he mentioned my child, I came to. Essentially, acting like I was dead, when this bear came a sniffing. No offense to bears, who are way more civilized then these creeps. Well mine was a real winner!
A real doozie of a man! Not only did he lie, cheat, covet, steal, destroy others, he managed to rip what little piece of my heart was left and toss it aside like yesterdays trash. After all those years all he was doing was using everyone!!!! Yep, the best was him finally finding GOD. Sure after all that crap he pulled go here found God.
Not him, he was born again to do it again and again. He also loved making excuses for crap behavior. He had one affair early on, then another x amount of years later, and then come to find out hitting on women left and right. Never took not 1 oz of accountability or responsibility for not 1 darn thing in his life. Made fun of everyone around him, yet he was the idiot with all the real issues and causing the real issues. When You Discard The Narcissist First, yet he failed to see it.
It was always everyone else.