Long Distance Breakup Recovery: Ways To Get Back Together After A Long Distance Relationship
These Are The Signs You Can Get Your Ex Back
29 Jun Getting back together after a break-up is not easy but it can be done. Experts weighed in on the hard work a couple needs to do. 11 Sep Ambivalence also explains why it's so common to get back together, breakup again, and repeat. (Need a new fresh start after a rough breakup? Torch fat, get fit , and look and feel great with Women's Health's All in 18 DVD!) And while having mixed emotions is a natural part of ending a relationship, says. Nearly half of all couples get back together after a breakup. Science has an explanation—and with the right mindset, reuniting may not be such a bad idea.
Sometimes you just want to send them a guide to a smarter breakup.
But maybe those wishy-washy romantics are onto something: Approximately 50 percent of couples get back together again after breaking up, and a new study suggests that the reason is that they were ambivalent about breaking up in the first place.
While the sensible thing is to stay far away from an old flame after calling it off, some people can convince themselves there are arguments for getting back together.
Popular reasons for wanting to stay were optimism hoping that the partner will changeemotional investment in the relationship, family duties, and fear of the uncertainty that would follow. Did it end in a nasty divorce with a custody battle? Did you meet his parents?
A Kansas State University that found nearly half of all couples reunite also revealed that couples who got back together assumed their partner had changed for the better or that they would be better at communicating. But the newer research suggests their motivation may be more prosaic.
In a series of studies recently published in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Scienceresearchers from the University of Utah and the University of Toronto questioned people about why they might want to stay in or leave their relationship.
Popular reasons for wanting to stay were optimism hoping that the partner will changeemotional investment in the relationship, family duties, and fear of the uncertainty that would follow. Most people 66 percent said they wanted to stay because of the intimacy and dependence they had developed with their partner over time.
Take The Quiz: Can You Get Your Ex Back Or Is He Gone Forever?
On the split side of the coin, people wanting to leave a relationship cited emotional distance, a breach of trust, and general incompatibility frequent fighting. And more than a third—38 percent—wanted to leave due to unfaithfulness.
Pros and Cons of Breaking Up and Getting Back Together
Despite the negative feelings, 49 percent of those considering leaving still had mixed feelings about hitting the road. The researchers point out that the findings align with the reality that about 50 percent of separated couples get back together again.
The researchers also note that a breakup is often harder on the person doing it because of the doubt that lingers in the source.
This ambivalence explains why such a staggering amount of couples will choose to reconnect after a split. Examine your motives for doing so. If you do happen to get back together for a valid reason—and be sure to ask yourself these questions before getting back together with an ex —remember to use your first round Getting Back Together After Break Up a learning experience. Each partner has to understand and be willing to work on whatever caused the breakup in the first place.
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Starting over is a clean slate and you're on the path to cleaning up your resentments. Are you both working jobs that require you to be far away? If you felt real contempt, disgust, and hatred towards each other, those feelings make getting back together that much more difficult. They may have their own reservations about it because they most likely were there for you when your relationship went south. But maybe those wishy-washy romantics are onto something:
#68 How We Got Back Together
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